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    空白的想念

     
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    在前天晚上的时候我一个人坐在寝室的电脑前发呆
    我是不是个性太鲜明以至于让别人确实不愿和我有太亲近的距离
    我想和你们一起跳啊闹啊到天亮
    我想热心的尽自己能力帮助你们每个人而没有带任何偏激色彩
    可是我怎么就给你们带来压力了呢
    我想不明白想不明白
    熄灯以后我在黑暗中摸索了很久
    我才想起小惠说的话,人注定是孤独的……
    多么可怕
    我瑟瑟发抖
    迅速爬上床蒙起被子,我想家
    想妈妈,想爸爸,想爷爷,想奶奶,想外公,想外婆,想每一位成员
    但,那又如何?我抱不到他们。我离他们有几千公里
    想到爷爷去世已经有13年了,而奶奶去年也悄然离开了。我总是记得奶奶拉着我的手说即使照顾爷爷再麻烦她也愿意伺候的样子,泪流满面
    我是个不孝的孙女。13年来我没给爷爷上过一次坟,奶奶去世的时候也没回去奔丧。可是他们曾经那么那么疼爱我……
    我的爷爷奶奶……
     
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    思绪拉回来的时候我很想糖
    我想上次自己在寝室的时候他打电话陪我聊到很晚,挂了电话还发短信不放心我能睡着,要我一有事就立即打电话给他
    只是这个夜里电话连同寝室死一般的安静
    死……
    再见阳光再见糖的时候我很纠缠问他为什么没找我为什么
    他说对不起我整电脑到很晚。他说我爱你
    我爱你
    糖糖啊糖糖,我是一个高温大火炉,我融化你心中的冰了吗
    全融了吗
     
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    很久后再听《孙悟空》还是那样打动我:如果要让我活让我有希望的活,我从不怕爱错就怕没爱过
    ……
     

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    在愛情的國度裡,腳踏二條船者,終將失足淹溺。
    Nov. 20

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